Sunday, August 1, 2010

Motherhood smotherhood..

God has changed my seasons to the point where he has set me in a place where I continually find women who are struggling in their calling of motherhood. And I don't mean struggling every now and then, but have a genuine battle every single day. For some women, motherhood comes naturally and for those few you would think God specifically cut them from some special cloth but for the rest of us out there, it's as if we were cut from something dingy.

I for example, did not have a Godly Mother growing up and in fact was mostly raised with/by males. Now, don't get me wrong, I'd beat the tar out of anybody if they touched my momma but she spent most of her life working two or three jobs at a time. I don't remember any times of doing crafts with my mother, or being taught how to cook for fun. I was the oldest girl and it was outright expected of me that I did cooking, cleaning, laundry and so forth to help my Mother out. I don't say that bitterly, but I was young and certainly not equipped to take on the role of "Mother" at a young age. Now, I did get to go outside and play at times but when momma was working, me and my younger sister were left to find something to do to keep out my Father's hair. In truth, my Father wanted son's and not daughter's, so not only did he not really want us, but he wasn't a Godly role model at all.

In the generation that I'm part of, our female role models ended up being portrayed as soap opera watchin' couch potatoes. Long gone were Mrs. Brady and June Cleaver. Yes, I'm old enough to remember them, but only because I watched Nick at nite. My day's were satiated with overhearing soap opera's on tv, listening to the latest gossip from my Aunt's and playing with Barbie's; all while hoping for that fancy convertible and big house to manifest in real life. On day's when my mother worked, we had to spend time with our cousins (of which, 95% are male) or my Father and they certainly didn't believe in femininity. Both my parents are ex-military and a good portion of my Uncle's are as well, so there was no feminine encouragement and you were taught to fight and live like a male. On top of all this, the feminists had put so much effort into getting women out of the home and into the work place, so that if you were a stay-at-home-mom, you weren't educated nor very intelligent. Just another baby machine. Another dumb female who couldn't make it in the 9-to-5 environment.

Fast forward a multitude of years, and here I am still struggling with trying to define Motherhood, wondering why a generation of women had their feminine instincts crushed by older women who considered themselves too good to stay home with runny nosed kids. If you were to look at the feminist of today, you would find that they are in fact far from being like those who originally led the way. Women who were alive long before the sixties were trying to carve out a safe place in society for themselves and their children. In fact, the original feminists were actually pro-life and desired for their children to have access to better health care, they were in fact horrified at the alarming mortality rate for infants and children.

Why did God allow me to get pregnant? I wasn't made to be a mom! Am I being punished for something? When do I get time for me? Isn't it enough that I manage to keep them alive? I don't want the responsibility! I don't like being a mom! What do you do with them all day? I thought this motherhood thing came easy after salvation? Why are they so loud? I can't take them anymore! How am I supposed to be a mother when my own Mother couldn't model it?

Dear sisters, you are not alone in your confusion. You are not alone in being lost in the role of motherhood. I too struggle and believe it or not there are many of us wondering around lost, in need of guidance. No longer do we have to be shackled to the limitations of our parents sin or our grandparents sin, but Christ blood has freed us! We have but to pick up our bibles and allow God's word to be the light that shines through our darkness.

By no means do I have motherhood figured out and quite honestly I don't believe any woman has, despite how perfect they may appear. Be humbled, seek the word of God and earnestly desire that he change you into a woman who considers her children a blessing.

Psalm 127
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

Hopefully, I will be able to find guidance that I can share over the next few days to weeks with you, and in that I hope we all will be able to see that truly, Motherhood is a high calling. And that God, your Father, has a wonderful plan in allowing you to have children.