I've been wanting some time to sit down and really get into the meaty reality of the roles that women take on during the many seasons that ebb and flow in our lives. I'm sure some of the terms used here will be deemed offensive though that isn't the desire of this post. It's moreso to bring about an awareness of where many unbelieving females are in their life and also as a means of reflection on just how far our walk has been with the Lord. What the Lord has truly labeled "Redeemed".
The Lord has personally redeemed me from some of these titles and it's only by the grace of God that I can even today take in the beauty of being set aside by the Father, to be chosen as one of the few to bring glory to Him who saved me from such a heart wrenching life.
Please keep an open mind and realize that these of course are not in some biblical, numerical correct way but are simply an open and frank realization of where the women in America (and other countries, I'm sure) stand.
(1) Single
Definition: unmarried, only one in number, unmarried state, solitary, sole
Looks Like: I would say the biblical definition would be a female who does not "date" nor have sexual intercourse or rather any physically sexual connection with a man. Meaning she does not consent to have sex whether intercourse or oral, she does not allow a man to sexual approach her in any way but is chaste. Single can however mean that you have an unwavering desire to be courted which eventually will end in marriage, but there is to be sexual purity during this time.
(2) Married
Definition: joined, united in wedlock
Looks Like: A man and woman (sadly that needs specification these days) that are bound together not only by documents and a shiny band, but a desire to spend an eternity together with one another. A courting couple who seeks to "solidify" the desire to be wed and glorify God in the walk of sanctification together. To be so in love with someone that you are willing to accept that you are a sinner and that you married one, and eagerly desire to walk out a path of life with this person and God.
(3) Courted/Engaged
Definition: pledged to be married, betrothed
Looks Like: A man and women who believe that God has brought them together and that the end result will be marriage. A Godly courtship or engagement that is biblical and God edifying does not involve oral sex, heavy petting, sexual intercourse, etc. This is a chaste couple who prefer to differ from the world and desire to fight against the sin of lust and have a deep desire to wait until their wedding to be intimate.
(4) Mother
Definition: a female parent, someone that gives rise to or exercise protecting care over someone else
Looks Like: I'd love to just say read Proverbs 31 but though there are many mothers in the bible, being a mother has so many seasons and stages that there isn't enough time to cover the whole multitude. If I were to describe "mother", I would say a women who sacrificially gives of herself to her husband, children and those that God would bring about into her life. A God-fearing women that seeks to glorify the Lord in her actions of care and concern over those that the Lord has placed around her.
(5) Concubine:
Definition: a woman who cohabits with a man that she is not legally married to
Looks Like: This is the one I would say at least 90% (if not at least 80%) of women in the United States have been known as at one time or another, though not by this actual definition. This is a female who has sex with a man, cleans his house, washes his clothes, prepares meals, and generally takes care of him as if they were actually married. Many women in these types of relationships end up in sexually or physically abusive relationships due to a desire that "he may change" the more "married" they act. Chances are if a female is in this relationship, the man she cohabits with has no desire whatsoever to marry her and suffers from what some men jokingly call "The Peter Pan Syndrome". There is little chance that the couple will marry, but that if marriage is achieved somewhere down the line, it will not last very long because the relationship budded from a sex based relationship not a God based one. In this particular role, women often times bear children outside of marriage and end up a single mother, struggling to make ends met, hurting spiritually and financially with the biological father no where to be found.
(6) Whore
Definition: a female who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, a person considered to have compromised principles for personal gain
Looks like: A woman who has sex with a man or men while having no intent whatsoever to be married nor chaste. She is a person who has sex with single or married men, simply for the goal of achieving personal pleasure and once achieved will move onto yet another male. This individual could also be a prostitute, harlot, courtesan, strumpet and even a stripper. Anyone who would exchange sex or sexual delights in exchange for cash or other barter.
(7) Widow
Definition: a woman who has lost her husband to death but has not remarried
Looks Like: This is usually a term given to elder women who have lost their husband in some way but is not limited to those of elder age. Most elder widow's do not remarry but younger widows biblically are encouraged to wed again.
Hopefully, I've covered the vast majority of the bases but should another role come to mind I will likely add to this post or possibly elaborate even more in another post down the road.
I do hope that this brief break down reminds those of us who were shackled to sexual sin, that God almighty can redeem even the worst of sinners and make the body and soul new. And to those who are single in the struggle against sin, I encourage you to read a book by Joshua Harris titled "Sex Is Not The Problem: Lust Is", it's not just a book for men about "their" problem but about a sin problem.
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